Glamour Shots

On Saturday BFF and I went to my niece's house for dinner. The real reason for going, however, was for a hair and make up test run. My tastes are so simple that I was having hard time even caring about hiring someone to do my hair and make up on the day of my wedding, not to mention the exorbitant amount of money they often charge. $100 for a pony tail? When my niece offered to do it I didn't think twice.

I apologize for the funny faces I'm making, I tend to do that when I'm nervous (I can hear you now, internet friends, nervously thinking, "what kind of faces is she going to make in her wedding pictures?").

I think it came out great (then again my expectations and standards are pretty low). My only suggestion is that the pony tail be a lower. The real flower won't be as big. I trust you all will give me your HONEST opinion, right?

Now, let's all pray that my niece has her baby around her due date (October 19th). If she goes early I'm screwed!

Rubber Ball

For a week now I've been an eating stress ball machine. I may not know intellectually what is stressing me out but my body sure does. I end up with a racing heart and an uncontrollable urge to stuff my face. I wish that I could be like my friend who is a compulsive cleaner when she is stressed. Or better yet, I wish I lost my appetite when I got stressed.

The last thing I need to deal with, on top of the anxiety, is to worry about gaining weight. I have my first fitting in 4 weeks people! My dreams of being a beautiful thin bride are suddenly turning into hopes of not looking like a sausage stuffed into a casing on the most important day of my life. Sigh.

The good news is I'm feeling pretty good today and I actually have ambition to eat well and healthy.

The shower on Sunday was fine. I was slightly hungover from the fun I had the previous evening (the beer pong house rules? They sucked but even worse was not knowing them before hand and losing the game as a result. Yeah...I'm still bitter) so it was a bit of a haze for me. Nevertheless, it was 5 hours from the time I left home until I returned. Long enough for me.

We had BFF's parents and grandparents over for dinner on Monday night. It was supposed to be outside but had to be moved inside because of the weather which I was not happy about (claustrophobic, dog, messy apt, feeling unsociable). It was OK, definitely not my finest dinner but oh well. The worst part was that BFF didn't get his mom a gift or card and it was her birthday! I felt so bad I sent her a card this week.

I found out when my shower is. BFF wrote 'BLACK OUT DATE, nothing will be planned on this day' on the calendar for August 25th. I don't know anything else about it and I don't want to.

Ding Dong the Witch Is Dead...

The magic eight ball was almost right. It took longer than a month but it happened.

It's no secret that I don't like my co-worker. I've blogged about how he's an idiot and disgusting and untrustworthy and oh yeah, an idiot, many times. For over a year now I've had to deal with his incompetence and eventually it got so bad that I fought to prove that I am a better person for the job. Since that day that I took over things have been difficult. Not really horrible, but to the point where I could tell he wasn't happy and he was making every one's job harder. I had to give him a written warning a couple weeks ago and last week I decided that he needed to go. Apparently he was thinking the same thing and today is his last day. I thought I would be happier. I guess I just need to let it all soak in and get used to how things are going to be from now on. It's no surprise though, the stress and anxiety are getting to me but I'm trying to ride it out. This is the right decision and it is going to make things so much better around here.

This Sunday is BFF's sister's bridal shower which I'm (surprise!) totally dreading. I opted not to ride up with BFF's mom and grandmother because I want to be in control of how long I'm there. It won't be horrible, this I know, but still, I'm not looking forward to it.

Tomorrow we're going to my niece's graduation party which should be fun. There won't be much family there but there will be beer pong. Yes, I am 29 years old and I LOVE beer pong. I don't really enjoy chugging cheap beer but I am competitive and love playing games so bring it on. I think it's my way of being social without having to talk.

So that's the weekend in a nutshell. Oh, and also, there is a piece of chocolate cake waiting for me at home.

We Went AND Had Fun

Double Showers

Turns out my bridal shower is getting complicated. I, of course, don’t know all the details but last night BFF told me that the first place (booked and all set) fell through. This of course, created drama among everyone involved and last night I ended up feeling like it’s my fault. Yes, I know, I’m being overly sensitive and it isn’t my fault but in the moment I couldn’t help it. My eyes started to well and I couldn’t talk or breathe. My anger and frustration were pointed at BFF’s sister. I didn’t have, and still don’t have, a good reason for this but it’s probably just built up frustration. I think if I could do it over again I wouldn’t have asked her to be a bridesmaid. I find her to be a tad selfish and insensitive and I feel uncomfortable around her. In my opinion she’s just a difficult person. Thankfully I have two fantastic bridesmaids who make me feel like I deserve all this.

Last night I got a call from my MOH and she asked me what I wanted to do for my bachelorette party. Did I want a traditional one? Um…NO! I can’t think of anything worse. She then suggested something at a spa. Um…YES! So that is exciting. I’ve never had any spa treatment before so I think it sounds like a lot of fun. Plus, I’m sure I’ll need it a couple weeks before the wedding.

BFF and I were planning on going to a Paw Sox game tonight with some friends but it’s raining which is a bummer. Today just feels kind of blah. The weather is crappy and work is slow.

I’ve added a countdown to the left because I’m sure you’re all dying to know exactly just how many days until the BIG day.

Twizzlers

Our bedroom is small. Not tiny, but not small enough that there is really only one good way to arrange the furniture. As such, Wicket's dog bed (not that he ever uses it...why would he when ours is SO much more comfortable) is on the floor right at the foot of our bed.

On Sunday BFF was playing ball with Wicket. In the apartment. BFF threw the ball onto our bed and Wicket chased after it except he never made it onto the bed. He slipped on his bed and slammed into the edge of the bed. What came next was the most heartbreaking noise - a constant stream of yelping. It sounded like, "Ow, daddy! Ow daddy!" and felt like it went on forever but in actuality it was probably only 30 seconds. When he stopped we immediately checked him over to make sure he was still in one piece. He slowly began to walk around, unsteadily at first, and eventually BFF was able to do a thorough check to make sure he wasn't in any pain. Wicket must have gotten the wind knocked out of him and got scared but holy shit it sure did give us a good scare too!

We started the invitation process this past weekend. BFF began printing them and I began cutting them down. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I wish I could show a picture of the invitation but it's in pdf format and I have no way of editing it. My friend used this picture,

one of our favorites from our Maine trip last year. She made the tree a deep red and used it on the invitation. You'll just have to take my word for it - they're perfect!

Who in their right mind puts $30 as the budget for their wedding shoes? I mean really, I must have been crazy to think I would find shoes for $30! On Saturday BFF and I went into DSW on a whim and lo and behold I found my wedding shoes! They are perfect and better yet, they were under budget at $24. In case you can't see, they are a deep red patent leather - woot!

I was at the grocery store earlier and I saw a man with a t-shirt that had a big fish on it. It said, "keep your mouth shut and you won't get caught." I thought it was funny.

Tick Tock You Don't Stop

It's Friday. Ready...on three...one, two, three - YAY!!!!

BFF and I were going to go camping this weekend but last night when I said part of me didn't really feel like going he said he felt the same way. I'm actually a little relieved because I would like to get started on the invitations. My target ship date is August 1st and we still have to print them and address them. I'd rather not overtax the printer or myself so small batches is a must.

Also in store for this weekend is an anniversary celebration. I hope we don't give up the anniversary of our first date because it was just so sweet. I think we’ll probably go to the same restaurant we went for our first date (because we’re dorks like that but also because YUM – MEXICAN!) tomorrow night. Two years and now we're getting married. It's amazing to me.

My Newest Obsession

You'll never guess.
Shoulders.
This is, of course, because my wedding dress is strapless.
To begin, I don't think I have bad looking shoulders. My only gripe is that they're not really defined.
I want shoulders like these.

I've been lifting weights and while I have gained muscle, I haven't really seen much of a change in my day to day look. I decided I needed to get over it and accept that my body is not built to have really defined shoulders.

Ironically, a few days after I came to that conclusion (still not sure if I was being honest or just trying to make myself feel better) BFF and I went to see Knocked Up. I was too busy envying the sister's shoulders that it took me until half way through the movie to realize that the main character's shoulders aren't crazy defined - they look just like mine!

I feel better now but I'm still obsessed. I am constantly staring at females' shoulders, whether they are on the tv or at the gym. It's weird. I find myself looking in the mirror and moving my arms and back and forth trying to convince myself that I will look good in my dress.

This morning I weighed myself after two weeks and the scale didn't budge. I guess I should be happy since last weekend was a feeding frenzy (vacation = eat bad food often) but I was disappointed. I have 2 pounds until my short term goal weight. 7 pounds until my next goal weight. Seeing the number on the scale motivates me when it's less than I want it to be but it has the opposite effect when it's higher. I start to get frustrated because I'm trying and making an effort and it's not getting me anywhere. I get anxious and then I want to eat and...well you know where this is headed.

Of course it doesn' t help that I woke up with three hives and I'm a little cranky today.

Umm...yeah...HI!

In case you weren't keeping track, it's been a week and a half since my last post. This new job is seriously cutting into my internet time which means blogging, reading blogs, and e-mails are no longer the focus of my day. Sigh. If you can hold on (can you?) I promise I'll be back to my old self in September. By that time all my posts will probably be riddled with wedding anxiety. Not that I'm not anxious about it now. There is still so much to do! I know it will all get done though so I'm not really stressing. Yet. The good thing about being super busy at work is I don't have time to worry about it. The bad thing is when I get home from work I can't even think of doing anything but eating and plunking myself down in front of the tele. Eh...somehow it will happen.

We finally made our Vegas plans. August 16-20. Have I mentioned that I don't even want to go? I think I might have... I guess I need to focus on us having fun and going away together and not that we're going because it's BFF's sister's wedding.

Oh, speaking of weddings...we can now officially get our marriage license. Eek!